Child Abuse Recovery Journal

The new home of Suite101's Child Abuse & Recovery Feature Writer, Susan Maree Jeavons. Susan is a child abuse survivor who provides articles, commentary, poetry, support, and information on topics related to child abuse.

Friday, March 23, 2012

2012 Update

Once again I apologize for not writing. A lot has happened since the last
time I wrote. I am going to try to keep it short though.

On January 19th, 2012, my husband of 25 years passed away from cancer
caused by exposure to agent orange in Korea. I was with him alone at home,
and he went peacefully, but it was a shock anyway.
He was fine that day, stayed up till 1:00 AM with me watching TV.
He had eaten a good supper and felt good. Then at 3 AM,
he woke up throwing up-something he had not done
through 36 radiation treatments and endless chemo. He said
his chest felt tight. I got him a cold wash cloth
for his face and once he felt better, asked him
if he wanted to try to lay back down. He said no.
So he came out to the living room where I slept and sat down
on the couch. He said, "I guess now would not be a good time
to have a cigarette." I said, "No, I don't think so."
I turned to go rinse the washcloth out and heard him snore loudly,
looked at him and he was sound asleep. I walked over
and shook him and tried to wake him up. When I did,
he took a deep breath in and slowly let it out and slumped down.
He did that two more times. I watched him take his last breath;
a picture I can not get out of my head.

After his funeral, I had so much stress and was depressed,
was not eating and lost down to 100 pounds. I was admitted to the hospital
with double pneumonia.

I also had to move out of the home we bought 18 years ago
because I could not handle being there alone. I now live
in an apartment next door to my daughter. My kids and their
friends did all the work packing and moving everything since
I am on oxygen now and can't do too much. They were wonderful!

Eventually I will try to get back to writing about child abuse.
Until then if you need to talk to me, email me at

You can also find me on Face Book under Susan Maree Jeavons

Take care of you and God Bless you.

Susan Maree Jeavons